Resolutions - I hate 'em

I do not like making resolutions when the new year rolls around. I don't know how to motivate myself and stick to something I 'promised' to do. There is only one promise, lately, that I have fulfilled and I will continue to fulfill. That's the promise I made to mom a few weeks before she died: to make sure dad was taken care of. That just has to happen no matter what.

So why can't I make other resolutions stick? Am I that weak or lazy? Sometimes, I am lazy. I guess I could say that my new years' resolution was to not be so lazy. Eh, boring. One year, I made the resolution to wish everyone a happy birthday that year. So on January 2, I posted on FB and to all my email contacts a Happy Birthday!, just in case I forgot when it really WAS their birthday. Hey, I found a way to make sure I did it. Pretty lame, I know.

Who says you have to make a New Years' resolution anyway? I happen to know (and say repeatedly) that no one is the boss of me (with exception to my work boss, and even then I'm sure he wonders if he's even boss of me sometimes). So why do I feel compelled to make resolutions? Must I succumb to the peer pressure and jump on the band wagon, even when I don't play an instrument? Probably. But this IS a time of reflection, so they say. I tell you this: I have been in a state of reflection since May 27 when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. *See Blog titled "It's not fair."

I digress. There ARE a few things I would like to resolve. Aside from the cosmetic repairs I'd like to have done to me, there are many things on the 'inside' that I think would be a good time to try and correct. For now, I won't bore you with what those are. Frankly, I need time to reflect on just how much of 'me' I want to change.