You may not be of the persuasion to dabble in the daily horoscopes. Hey, that's cool. Some people connect to it like it's their bible. I do not. I have the actual bible for that but I don't read it. I know a lot of it because it was beaten into me for the first 18 years of my life. I do like to claim to be more spiritually minded because I really believe the higher power of God (we'll cover spiritual aspects some other time).
Back to my intended post…. I do read my horoscope. Not daily and sometimes not even weekly. However!! When I do, I read it at the end of the day. In my humble opinion, by reading it first off, you may allow it to set the tone for your day. I don't particularly want some generic statement to determine the course of events each day. I'm not saying I haven't read it in the morning but doing it at the end of the day is almost a "let's see if you got it right" kinda thing.
It's kinda creepy how spot on this week has been. Coincidence? Maybe. I view it as entertainment for the most part so no biggie.
January 29, 2014
Passive Agressive? I call bullshit
I do not buy the 'passive aggressive' argument that it is a sickness. It's bullshit, really. How do I know this you ask? Am I a doctor, psychiatrist, scientist? No, I am a person who has, more often than I care to admit, used a passive-aggressive tactic. And I'm pretty sure I'm not sick. Maybe a little cranky at times, but not sick. I'm a capable, functioning human being.
Manic? Manic-depressive? Obsessive compulsive? Yes, I agree that those are closer to illnesses than being passive aggressive. Passive aggressive is...... just hateful. It's someone who is being rude, a bitch, a prick, a brat, you name it, that's what it is. Not a sickness. It's an attitude, and a bad one at that! Get over yourselves folkies. What you put out in the world you get back. How about try a little tenderness? Yes, that's the ticket.
February 10, 2013
Messy Kitchen....Clean Livin'
Ok, first things first: I am thinking about changing my blog title to what my post title says..."Messy Kitchen...Clean Livin'. I think because it sums up many different aspects of my life right now. For right now, my kitchen is a complete mess. It has been at least once every day for the past, ummm, who knows how long. BUT! There's a reason (and I feel it's a good one) for this: I'm cooking my meals as clean as I can get right now. That's a lot of bunch wholeheckuvalotta cooking. I'm running out of fridge and freezer space, it's THAT much.
I've been going to organic grocers, homegrown markets, researching cleaning living like I'm obsessed. Wait, I think I've hit that target. I am becoming passionate about what I put into my body and how it works for me. All types of fresh stuff like: broccoli, spinach, asparagus, kale, arugula, zucchini, spaghetti squash, acorn squash, celery, mushrooms,
NOT EVEN A SMIDGE DIRTY?? Uh, yeah I can't claim that I am totally clean at eating. Taking into consideration that the mouth that randomly spits out expletives from time to time AND the occasional....ok, weekly partaking of beer margaritas and M&Ms) I am always striving for good wholesome, healthy, food-that-gives-back-positive results. I'm not perfect but I work at being good. Those that know me know that the task of being "good" is a tall order but hit the next day trying.
Back to the organic, real-earth foods: I work with people whom I had no idea were into the same type of interests as far as what you eat and where it comes from (I hate ending a sentence with a preposition but I'm doing it, aren't I?). Anyway, I have a co-worker who raises chickens and now just acquired a buncha quail. I have another one who makes the BEST homemade greek yogurt and gives me tips on where to buy the best food. There's another co-worker who researches herbs and spices and what works for what ailment. It's a secret community that I had no idea existed. It's not really a community yet, but I have a feeling I'm gonna be rounding up these troupes to start our own little co-op. I'm super excited. When I start my garden, all hellz gonna break loose because the fun is JUST beginning!
So get ready people. Times they are a changing and so am I (the eating part). I'll still be the same sarcastic mean brat that you've grown to love but just healthier. Yay me!
I've been going to organic grocers, homegrown markets, researching cleaning living like I'm obsessed. Wait, I think I've hit that target. I am becoming passionate about what I put into my body and how it works for me. All types of fresh stuff like: broccoli, spinach, asparagus, kale, arugula, zucchini, spaghetti squash, acorn squash, celery, mushrooms,
NOT EVEN A SMIDGE DIRTY?? Uh, yeah I can't claim that I am totally clean at eating. Taking into consideration that the mouth that randomly spits out expletives from time to time AND the occasional....ok, weekly partaking of beer margaritas and M&Ms) I am always striving for good wholesome, healthy, food-that-gives-back-positive results. I'm not perfect but I work at being good. Those that know me know that the task of being "good" is a tall order but hit the next day trying.
Back to the organic, real-earth foods: I work with people whom I had no idea were into the same type of interests as far as what you eat and where it comes from (I hate ending a sentence with a preposition but I'm doing it, aren't I?). Anyway, I have a co-worker who raises chickens and now just acquired a buncha quail. I have another one who makes the BEST homemade greek yogurt and gives me tips on where to buy the best food. There's another co-worker who researches herbs and spices and what works for what ailment. It's a secret community that I had no idea existed. It's not really a community yet, but I have a feeling I'm gonna be rounding up these troupes to start our own little co-op. I'm super excited. When I start my garden, all hellz gonna break loose because the fun is JUST beginning!
So get ready people. Times they are a changing and so am I (the eating part). I'll still be the same sarcastic mean brat that you've grown to love but just healthier. Yay me!
August 18, 2012
Attention Store Associates
Attention *insert store name here* shoppers
Picture yourself at Target, in line behind four people with cart-fulls of stuff. You've been in line for what seems an eternity (but really like 8 minutes). Ok, a rush a people storm the check-out lines where there are only two workers available. You hear "I can help someone on register 2."
Picture yourself at Target, in line behind four people with cart-fulls of stuff. You've been in line for what seems an eternity (but really like 8 minutes). Ok, a rush a people storm the check-out lines where there are only two workers available. You hear "I can help someone on register 2."
OH.NO.YOU.DIDN'T! Did she just leave it up to the masses to determine who is most deserving of being helped next? Yep, she sure did. Then you hear a pimple-faced punk say "I can help someone on register 8." OMFG! Noooo, Nooooo. This is NOT happening. I'm wedged between people bombarding the area so I can't move, yet these assholes who JUST walked up get help first. That is just plain wrong. Wrong. I would like to implore to the management of any establishment such as this to teach your sales associates to seek out the person who has already been waiting in line at great length. Tell the customer, by looking at them directly, "please follow me and I can check you out on register 2."
If you leave it to the common shopper mentality, more often than not, you will get total anarchy when the check-out system is poorly executed. Between those who have 'paid their dues' by spending time patiently in line and those "ME FIRST' morons, it is inviting spite, anger, verbal attacks (and I didn't apologize if that's what you want to know). Really, you're doing everyone a favor PLUS you are teaching a valuable lesson. One of which people should already know when we learned the "take your turn, be polite, don't be rude, don't cut in line' kinda crap in kindergarten.
(putting soap box up until next time)
(putting soap box up until next time)
I've lost Fun Ellen....anyone see her lately?
**another "past" blog. I guess I was busier than I thought with capturing thoughts. Just didn't take that extra step to post.
In fear of sounding like a broken record.... now wait a minute. The whole "sounding like a broken record" phrase has always been referenced to "repeating ones self" kinda thing. But a broken record won't play at all, so that makes NO sense to me. Someone explain, but only if it makes sense.
Starting again: In fear of sounding like.....something that repeats over and over {give me some ideas on what to put there}, I want to say that I think part of me died when my mom died. I used to have this quick wit (or some I say I did). I was sarcastic, funny, quick-witted, and just kinda fun to be around most of the time. I read some things I wrote about a year ago. Man that shit was hilarious. But today, I can't even relate to that person. Did my funny soul exit my body without telling me? Have I been so wrapped up with mourning and sadness that I lost my funny? Say it ain't so. Well, I'm calling a search party for Fun Ellen. I want everyone to search high and low for her. She's got to be around somewhere. I can't go too much longer with who I am right now. Boring. Something's gotta give. Ok, GO! let me know what you find out about where I am! I'll be waiting.......
In fear of sounding like a broken record.... now wait a minute. The whole "sounding like a broken record" phrase has always been referenced to "repeating ones self" kinda thing. But a broken record won't play at all, so that makes NO sense to me. Someone explain, but only if it makes sense.
Starting again: In fear of sounding like.....something that repeats over and over {give me some ideas on what to put there}, I want to say that I think part of me died when my mom died. I used to have this quick wit (or some I say I did). I was sarcastic, funny, quick-witted, and just kinda fun to be around most of the time. I read some things I wrote about a year ago. Man that shit was hilarious. But today, I can't even relate to that person. Did my funny soul exit my body without telling me? Have I been so wrapped up with mourning and sadness that I lost my funny? Say it ain't so. Well, I'm calling a search party for Fun Ellen. I want everyone to search high and low for her. She's got to be around somewhere. I can't go too much longer with who I am right now. Boring. Something's gotta give. Ok, GO! let me know what you find out about where I am! I'll be waiting.......
Resolutions - I hate 'em
I do not like making resolutions when the new year rolls around. I don't know how to motivate myself and stick to something I 'promised' to do. There is only one promise, lately, that I have fulfilled and I will continue to fulfill. That's the promise I made to mom a few weeks before she died: to make sure dad was taken care of. That just has to happen no matter what.
So why can't I make other resolutions stick? Am I that weak or lazy? Sometimes, I am lazy. I guess I could say that my new years' resolution was to not be so lazy. Eh, boring. One year, I made the resolution to wish everyone a happy birthday that year. So on January 2, I posted on FB and to all my email contacts a Happy Birthday!, just in case I forgot when it really WAS their birthday. Hey, I found a way to make sure I did it. Pretty lame, I know.
Who says you have to make a New Years' resolution anyway? I happen to know (and say repeatedly) that no one is the boss of me (with exception to my work boss, and even then I'm sure he wonders if he's even boss of me sometimes). So why do I feel compelled to make resolutions? Must I succumb to the peer pressure and jump on the band wagon, even when I don't play an instrument? Probably. But this IS a time of reflection, so they say. I tell you this: I have been in a state of reflection since May 27 when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. *See Blog titled "It's not fair."
I digress. There ARE a few things I would like to resolve. Aside from the cosmetic repairs I'd like to have done to me, there are many things on the 'inside' that I think would be a good time to try and correct. For now, I won't bore you with what those are. Frankly, I need time to reflect on just how much of 'me' I want to change.
Self Loathing and all....that....JAZZ
**I'm posting this now, but I think I wrote it some time after momma left me.
I'm pretty sure I go through this every year. Maybe even at the same time. I look at myself in the mirror, don't like what I see. Everyone is making resolutions so I teter back and forth deciding on what I want to do with me. It's the time of year where we eat too much, don't have any color on our skin, everything is drying out, some days are just dull because, hey, it's winter. In all my blogs, my intention is never to be negative, but I either start out in a funk, or end up in one. What gives? Maybe I need medication?
I have not gotten any sleep. I oversleep, but really I'm not getting the sleep I need so oversleeping doesn't really describe it. You have to actually GET sleep to OVERsleep, right? *sigh* Anyway, I have been a go go go gal since before Christmas. Well, since before that because I was juggling two households with taking care of my parents and my own life. I pretty much just took care of them and put my own life on hold. I remember Paula responding to me saying "I need to get some work done on my face now!." with "no, sister, you need to wait until all *this* is over. You are going to look horrible by the time *this* passes." She's right. I look absolutely horrible. So horrible, in fact, that I think I'll do a before and after photo because that's how bad I look. Don't patronize me and say "No, you look fine." I know what MY fine looks like and it looks nothing like this person I see in the mirror. I'm getting a roll around my midsection, I have puffy eyes all day long, my eye lids sag over my lashes, my skin his horrible and getting cysts again, when I stop jumping, parts of me still jump. It's horrendous. Absolutely pitiful. So on my drive into work, I think to myself, I'm going to get back on a soccer team. I don't care whose team I'm on, I need the exercise. I love soccer. Then......this morning at work, I get a text from Paula. She said the new season is starting on January 18, am I ready? Uhhh chills. Because I was just putting that out into the universe about two hours before. She must've reached up there and grabbed it. Thanks, universe. Yes, I'm ready. But I need more than soccer. Not that I can fit anything else in, but I'm going to try. I used to be busy every day of the week. Loved it, mostly. Now, my busy consists of showering dad, getting his groceries, cleaning his house and doing laundry. Granted he does have a caregiver that takes some of the load off. But I think she's getting bored over there. He really only needs help with meals, showers, sometimes getting dressed, and bed time. There is the pooping thing where you just can't schedule that so that is the main reason we have someone there during the day. I think he'd be ok every other day if everyone else in my family would stop by on a daily basis to check on him. I don't want to leave him alone without any contact whatsoever. Why did I get off on this subject? This is talked about in so many other posts, but now you see....it consumes my life, my thoughts, my worries, my stress. Ok, so the bags, sleeplessness, crankiness has determined its origination.
Back to me. I am an instant gratification person. Instant. Not tomorrow, that's too far away. I want what I want and I want it now. I don't need Chris Robbins to tell me how to get it. I know that you idiot. I don't need Steven Covey to tell me how to deal with all this. I know. The problem is me actually DOING it.
I'm going to make a list and bring it back here. A list of internal changes I want to make (don't worry, I would NEVER change who I am, because that's what people love about me.....right?). A list of external changes (boy this is going to be a huge post), and other musings. Get ready!
I'm pretty sure I go through this every year. Maybe even at the same time. I look at myself in the mirror, don't like what I see. Everyone is making resolutions so I teter back and forth deciding on what I want to do with me. It's the time of year where we eat too much, don't have any color on our skin, everything is drying out, some days are just dull because, hey, it's winter. In all my blogs, my intention is never to be negative, but I either start out in a funk, or end up in one. What gives? Maybe I need medication?
I have not gotten any sleep. I oversleep, but really I'm not getting the sleep I need so oversleeping doesn't really describe it. You have to actually GET sleep to OVERsleep, right? *sigh* Anyway, I have been a go go go gal since before Christmas. Well, since before that because I was juggling two households with taking care of my parents and my own life. I pretty much just took care of them and put my own life on hold. I remember Paula responding to me saying "I need to get some work done on my face now!." with "no, sister, you need to wait until all *this* is over. You are going to look horrible by the time *this* passes." She's right. I look absolutely horrible. So horrible, in fact, that I think I'll do a before and after photo because that's how bad I look. Don't patronize me and say "No, you look fine." I know what MY fine looks like and it looks nothing like this person I see in the mirror. I'm getting a roll around my midsection, I have puffy eyes all day long, my eye lids sag over my lashes, my skin his horrible and getting cysts again, when I stop jumping, parts of me still jump. It's horrendous. Absolutely pitiful. So on my drive into work, I think to myself, I'm going to get back on a soccer team. I don't care whose team I'm on, I need the exercise. I love soccer. Then......this morning at work, I get a text from Paula. She said the new season is starting on January 18, am I ready? Uhhh chills. Because I was just putting that out into the universe about two hours before. She must've reached up there and grabbed it. Thanks, universe. Yes, I'm ready. But I need more than soccer. Not that I can fit anything else in, but I'm going to try. I used to be busy every day of the week. Loved it, mostly. Now, my busy consists of showering dad, getting his groceries, cleaning his house and doing laundry. Granted he does have a caregiver that takes some of the load off. But I think she's getting bored over there. He really only needs help with meals, showers, sometimes getting dressed, and bed time. There is the pooping thing where you just can't schedule that so that is the main reason we have someone there during the day. I think he'd be ok every other day if everyone else in my family would stop by on a daily basis to check on him. I don't want to leave him alone without any contact whatsoever. Why did I get off on this subject? This is talked about in so many other posts, but now you see....it consumes my life, my thoughts, my worries, my stress. Ok, so the bags, sleeplessness, crankiness has determined its origination.
Back to me. I am an instant gratification person. Instant. Not tomorrow, that's too far away. I want what I want and I want it now. I don't need Chris Robbins to tell me how to get it. I know that you idiot. I don't need Steven Covey to tell me how to deal with all this. I know. The problem is me actually DOING it.
I'm going to make a list and bring it back here. A list of internal changes I want to make (don't worry, I would NEVER change who I am, because that's what people love about me.....right?). A list of external changes (boy this is going to be a huge post), and other musings. Get ready!
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